Top 10 ways to pause

The Top 10 Ways to Pause tool is a practical guide to help manage anger and strong emotions by providing actionable strategies to pause and reflect. These techniques range from focusing on breathing to creative outlets. Learn these skills to improve emotional regulation, reduce impulsive reactions, and develop greater self-awareness.

How to use the tool

• Introduce the Concept of Pausing
  • Explain: Share that pausing is a powerful way to create space between feeling an emotion and reacting to it.
  • Prompt: Ask questions like:
    • “What happens when you react too quickly when you’re angry?”
    • “How might taking a moment to pause help you feel more in control?”
• Explore the 10 Strategies
  • Activity: Present the poster and go through each of the 10 strategies:
    • Focus on your breath.
    • Count slowly to 10.
    • Say, “I need a break” and move to a new place.
    • Ask for help.
    • Distract yourself with something entertaining.
    • Splash cold water on your face or hold ice cubes.
    • Do high-intensity exercise.
    • Make it a song.
    • Get your rage on a page.
    • Go “urge surfing” by noticing how the urge feels and changes in your body.
  • Prompt: Ask:
    • “Which of these strategies have you tried before?”
    • “Which ones do you think would work best for you?”
• Practice Pausing Techniques
  • Activity: Lead a guided practice of the techniques:
    • Start with focusing on their breath: “Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, and breathe out for 4 counts.”
    • Try “urge surfing” by asking them to notice sensations in their body when they recall a frustrating situation.
  • Discussion: Reflect on how they felt after practicing the strategies.
• Encourage Personalization
  • Activity: Create a personal “Pause Plan” by choosing their top three strategies from the list.
  • Prompt: Ask:
    • “What makes these strategies work well for you?”
    • “How can you remind yourself to use them in a stressful moment?”
• Reinforce with Role-Playing
  • Activity: Use scenarios (e.g., “a classmate takes your seat” or “you get a low grade on a test”) and role-play pausing and using a strategy before responding.
  • Discussion: Reflect on how their chosen strategy helped them manage their emotions.

Benefits of using the tool

• Develop emotional regulation: Learning to pause reduces impulsive reactions and helps manage anger.
• Build self-awareness: Recognizing emotional triggers fosters greater control over responses.
• Improve problem-solving: Taking a moment to pause allows time to consider better solutions.
• Foster resilience: Using these strategies strengthens their ability to navigate challenging situations.

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